March 03, 2007

looking at mud

life - if even held up - cannot be held back, and neither can we.
Vedela Vida - And now you can go

Sitting listening to a ‘new to me’ Erykah Badu album I collected here in town. I’m told I actually even look smarter after my training workshop out and about the woods and marshes of the area...

it wont let go
a good book and I got all in it
a little yoga for a minute
It wont let go
to turn the Sana up to hotter
a whole jar of Holy water
it wont let go

In my commonly shared im(un)perfect and most excellent manner I fall back into laughing at myself. As if falling back into a reflective state of one’s life will result in even a half step (momentum) in a resolution you don’t have control over; rather you only have choice through character. I’ve always been a pessimistic optimist, bipolar [is that term redundant? - if you have one pole, isn’t the opposite understood, given out/my preoccupation with the curves of circles and spheres when interpreting things larger than ourselves.] Thank God for his grace...I wonder how the discipleship group went?

Though I missed my own group, I did not want for my fill of small group dynamics. By the end of the class, as we stood in the peat bog filled with Seattle Muck {a quite scientific and proper ‘soil designation’}, the wife of a Belgian shepherd finally caught my humor...
She offers, “Shouldn’t we move. That tree looks dangerous.”
I mention “They call those widow makers where I’m from.”
“So why don’t you and your group move?”
“I’m single.”

Four long days of training and meal times are certainly long enough time for a small group to polarize (bi-polarize?) - and this is generally related to individuals ‘magnetic charge’ as it corresponds to el professor. Given the level of misogyny, combined with constant allusions to some phantom screenplay project, I was surprised I never saw a verbal retort...much less a thrown chair. Given the frequency of vegans in the immediate vicinity, I was not surprised that the weapon of choice was optical daggers and background banter (aka gossip)...and herein lay the small-group dynamic.

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